perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize