Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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