I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
