About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
