I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
