just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
