State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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