Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
