Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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