wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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