so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
