Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
