I'm going to jail i love you
I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
