Screwed.edu
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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