i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
its not stalking. its research.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
