I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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