Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize