they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
