drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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