I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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