My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
