you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
