Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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