you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
