He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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