I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
