Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
