Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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