Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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