Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
