He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
