Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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