and you said cock pushups were impossible
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
