Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
