According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
