Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
