Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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