i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize