So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
