I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
