You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
