i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
