I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
