saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
