i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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