your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
