I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
