The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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