i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
