She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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