did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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