i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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