twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
