don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize