i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
