Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
