at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
