Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
