hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
