We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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