he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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