that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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