Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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