ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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