He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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