did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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