Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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